On-screen sex is supposed to be sexy. It’s supposed to put you in a mood and set your heart afire.
Unfortunately, not all TV sex does that. Sometimes TV sex is so bad it makes you cringe.
Here are 13 sex scenes we wish we never saw!
Daddy’s Girl – Empire
Hakeem has had some strange bedfellows. It’s clear he enjoys older women (Camilla, anyone?), but sleeping with your dad’s ex-wife is taking it a little far. Sure, Anika planned the whole thing out in her sick little mind to punish Lucius, but however you look at it, it’s enough to make our skin crawl. To make it even weirder, Anika got pregnant with Hakeem’s baby then ended up remarrying Lucius! The Lyons are just great, aren’t they?
One Man Job – American Horror Story
Ben couldn’t help but crave Moira’s sexy little body. It was the maid’s uniform that pushed him over the edge. Every time he saw her he wanted to jump her bones. She was such the tease. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he did what any sane man would do, he pleasured himself. He didn’t seem to enjoy it and neither did we.
The Creation – Preacher
Preacher tested the limits of good taste on “Dirty Little Secrets” which featured a cold open of Jesus romping in the sack with a random woman. We could live with the idea of Jesus having sex, but being subjected to several minutes of Jesus and the woman moaning and moving in ecstasy only reminded us of those uncomfortable moments when you heard your parents having sex in the other room. It’s something we will never recover from!
Back Door Man – Girls
Girls was full of uncomfortable sex scenes, but one of the first was Adam and Hannah’s first time together. Adam mistakenly thinking they were going to have anal sex was bad enough, but the scene reached its peak when Adam insisted Hannah stay quiet as they continued lumbering along. It was the most unromantic sex scene ever, and one that will haunt us forever!
Don’t Talk – GLOW
Ruth deciding to have sex with Debbie’s husband was a bad move, but what was worse was, well, everything about this scene. If you’re going to go all the way with your best friend’s husband at least try to make it enjoyable. Instead, it was awkward when she kept telling the guy to be quiet as she tried to reach her moment of satisfaction. Living dildo, anyone?
Cyber Sex – The Big Bang Theory
When you can’t be with the one you love, just do it cyber style. That’s what Leonard and Priya attempted after she moved back to India. The idea was grand, the execution? Not so much! Leonard made it awkward by writing down his dirty talk and reading off a piece of paper, all the while trying to look sexy on screen. And while all of this was happening, Sheldon was in the other room shouting out instructions when computer troubles interrupted the fun. The whole thing might have been a laugh a minute, but all we were left with was a pit in the bottom of our stomachs.
All in the Family – Game of Thrones
Cersei and Jamie did the deed right there in the same room as their dead son, Joffrey. There’s controversy concerning this scene, not because the couple showed the ultimate disrespect, but because many believe Jamie raped Cersei. Whatever your thoughts on it, this scene, like any incestuous scene between brother and sister, is quite disturbing.
And Mom Makes Three – Shameless
This one makes us gag just thinking about it. Kevin wants to have a baby, but V is having a hard time getting pregnant. So what do they do? They invite her mother to be a surrogate, which isn’t horrible in itself. What is horrible, though, is that Kevin has sex with V and her mom at the same time, making for a very weird and very awkward threesome!
The Demon Inside – Penny Dreadful
Imagine getting pummeled by an invisible demon while your mother watches? No? Well, it happened to Vanessa and was so horrific that her mother dropped dead at the sight. It wasn’t any better for us. It wasn’t pleasant to watch and made you wonder how Eva Green even got through the scene.
Swallowed – American Gods
Bilquis is the goddess of love and the love she gives her partners the most exquisite sexual experience of their lives. Little do they know they are becoming food for her rejuvenation. Yes, folks, she swallows her partners whole via her vagina. It’s a beautiful and poetic process but still quite disturbing. Who doesn’t feel for the poor souls she just ate in order to secure her eternal life?
Hot for Teacher – Animal Kingdom
J doesn’t come from a typical family so having sex with his teacher is no big deal, though it was surprising that J went down that road. It seems more like something Craig would do. Still, it was Alexa who seduced J, not the other way around. And she had an ulterior motive which made the whole situation even worse. Watching J get it on with his teacher was awkward and uncomfortable and something we wish we never witnessed!
Sisters Do it for Each Other – The Sinner
A little bit love, a little bit manipulation, but no matter how you look at it, after years of living vicariously through her sister, Phoebe wanted to find out about sexual pleasure through her sister with more of a hands-on experience. The look of pleasure on Phoebe’s face is courtesy of her sister, Cora, as she demonstrates to the perpetually (and 19-year-old-terminally-ill) Phoebe the joy of orgasm for the first time. Thanks, Jessica Biel. We’ll never be able to unsee that.
The Beast and I – American Horror Story
Some people are so desperate for love they’ll do anything, including having sex with a Minotaur. Queenie got her groove on first by masturbating in front of the beast and then letting it have her. Goodbye virginity, but the worst part of that horribly graphic scene was the slapping noises. Vomit bag, anyone?
