With the re-emergence of the pumpkin spice latte, there’s no denying that fall is on the horizon.
By now, you’re probably well aware of Netflix’s latest addition, the one that’s supposed to feed your October Stranger Things void, or as I like to call it, The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.
Though it was originally dubbed a Riverdale spin-off and Sabrina the Teenage Witch reboot, the series has taken on such a new identity, it can’t even be compared to either anymore.
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Given it’s darker nature, we know we shouldn’t expect the cheerful and family-friendly tone we’ve come to love from the original, but that isn’t stopping old fans from hoping creator Roberto Aguierre-Sacasa weaves in some elements that made the 1996 version such a cult hit.
Yes, we’re obviously referring to Salem.
Here’s what we hope to see when the first season premieres on October 26th.
Give Us Strong Female Role Models
Aunt Zelda and Aunt Hilda, previously played by Beth Broderick and Caroline Rhea, were the backbone of the show and Sabrina’s moral compass. While they may no longer be the kooky and punny homebody aunts — they’ve been replaced by actresses Miranda Otto and Lucy Davis, the older sisters of Sabrina’s father Edward who also pledged their soul’s to Satan — we hope that the “girl power” aspect of the relationship remains intact. Every newbie witch needs leading ladies who will have her best interest’s at heart, even if they bow down to the devil in their free time.
Harvey Kinkle Needs to Be Woke
There wasn’t a 90s girl who didn’t ship (before shipping was even a thing) Harvey and Sabrina. But the puppy-faced, mortal loverboy was so clueless when it came to his girlfriend’s magical abilities. Netflix’s version will have none of that! Ross Lynch, the man that brilliantly brought to life serial killer Jeffery Dahmer in “My Friend Dahmer, has been cast as Sabrina’s love interest. In addition to his darker ‘do, Harvey also has a dark side that will assist Sabrina in combating the evil forces that threaten the mortal realm. Talk about #couplegoals.
Some Dark Comedic Relief
Part of what made the original so enjoyable is that it never really took itself too seriously. Storylines didn’t make sense, characters came then dissapeared, and boys turned into frogs. And we loved every minute of it. The Netflix version will be rooted in horror, but I hope they don’t do away puns, dark humor and a Cheryl Blossom level of sarcasm. I always respect a show that’s equal parts spooky and humorous.
Crossover Opportunities
Some may be surprised to find out that Sabrina will exist in the same universe as Archie. Geographically speaking, Sabrina lives in Greendale, the town adjacent to Riverdale, separated only by Sweetwater River. After Netflix poached Sabrina from The CW, Aguierre-Sacasa said there are no crossover plans at this time, but neighboring towns have to hang out, right? I mean, Greendale is where Archie’s ex-teacher-turned-lover Ms. Grundy lived when she was killed by the Black Hood. Maybe she was related to Sabrina? There are so many familiar Riverdale faces in the Sabrina comics, this has to be on the table for the future.
90s Edginess
Much like 90s shows, Riverdale has an edge that most teen shows lack these days; it doesn’t shy away from controversial topics, edgy characters, and murders. With Sabrina being on Netflix and playing with themes of horror and the occult, it has to up the ante. There are also comparisons to it being a new-age Buffy the Vampire Slayer since Sabrina is described as, “an empowered young woman, beginning her dark education as a sorceress, as she tries to maintain a normal life as a sophomore.” If Sabrina is even half as badass as heroine Buffy Summers, we’re already smitten.
Diversity
Sabrina the Teenage Witch had a predominately white cast, but we’re glad this new version will be more inclusive of various races and genders. Jaz Sinclair will play Sabrina’s best friend Rosalind, British actor Chance Pedromo is her pansexual live-in cousin Ambrose, Alvina August is Lady Blackwood, and The 100’s Tati Gabrielle is Prudence, the leader of Sabrina’s rivals,”The Weird Sisters.”
A Solid Enemy
Speaking of rivals, we’re not dealing with mean-girl cheer captain Libby anymore. In the Netflix adaptation, Sabrina will be up against her favorite teacher, Mary Wardell (Doctor Who’s Michelle Gomez) who is possessed by Madam Satan, the former lover of Sabrina’s father who upon finding out that he chose Sabrina’s mortal mother, killed herself. In other words, she resurrected from the dead with a vengeance. We’re already petitioning to bring Libby back.
Salem Saberhagen
There is no Sabrina without Salem. The sarcastic, furry feline was everyone’s favorite character, but as everything in the Netflix version, his backstory is a bit darker. Think Thackery Binx in Hocus Pocus; his origin story dates back to 1692 where the devil foresaw he would one day serve a “half witch, half mortal” girl. Thankfully, he’s still an asshole that dishes out clapbacks, and since technology has improved since the aught, he’ll be a real cat instead of a puppet.
A Hangout
Teens in Riverdale hang out at Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe while teens in the original Sabrina hung out at the Slicery and in their college days, Bean There Brewed coffee shop. Every good show needs a designated hangout where folks can regroup and just hang out after fighting forces of evil. What will the new spot be?
Dark Magic
Given that the series deals with the occult, you can expect lots of dark magic. We’re not talking about the cutesy-wutsey, finger-pointing kind of magic either. It’s all about devil-worshipping covens, blood moons, sacrifices, and pentagrams. There’s even a first look at Sabrina’s “dark baptism” conducted by Father Blackwood, a High Priest of the Church of Night who is an oppressive figure in her dark education. What we hope doesn’t transfer from the comics? Cannibalism.
The Return of Melissa Joan Hart
Can old-school Sabrina’s and new Sabrina’s paths somehow cross? Sabrina the Teenage Witch’s Melissa Joan Hart gave the Netflix series a stamp of approval so that means she’d be down to guest-star, right? I also wouldn’t scoff at Nate Richert (original Harvey) returning as a professor at the mortal school or even as new Harvey Kinkle’s dad. Best of both worlds!
The Other Realm
On the other side of an inconspicuous linen-closet, The Other Realm served as a “choose your own magical adventure.” In the Netflix version, it will still likely be a thing, but under the name “Witches Realm” which sounds much more chilling. Is it a shadow world? A version of the Upside Down? Why would anyone go there? Is that where the devil worshippers live?
Quiz Master
When I was younger, I always wanted a quiz-master that was just as quirky and “fresh” as Sabrina’s. His whole purpose was to help Sabrina get her witches license by showing up randomly and demanding she complete ridiculous tasks that amounted to some heartwarming life lesson. There are many ways to make him a darker, more authoritative figure in this new adaptation. Maybe he could teach her how to harness her powers for good and fight off the evil forces threatening the moral world? Bonus points if he wears brightly-colored satin outfits.
Flying
One of the best parts about being a witch is having the ability to fly. The original Sabrina didn’t do it much, but when she did, she soared over town on a magical vacuum cleaner. In the comics, Sabrina is more old-school and uses a broom which was carved from the scaffolds used to hang some of their ancestors during the 1692 Salem Witch Trials. Dark enough for you yet?
The Fight Between Good and Evil
The Spellman women always fought the good fight. In this dark adaptation, the line between good and evil is blurred, so the writers have to figure out rather quickly what makes a hero and what makes a villain. Yes, both aunt’s have sold their soul to the devil but given that Father Blackwood is an enemy and Madam Satan has it out for the Spellman’s, maybe they are the heroes in this dark retelling after all?
Bonus: Millennial Stuff
Sabrina may be a powerful witch with a lot to figure out about herself and her abilities, but she’s still half human so hopefully, she’s not to busy to enjoy high school milestones like first kisses, pep rallies and prom!
