TGIT returned with our featured Grey’s Anatomy quote, an unexpected post-presidential election debacle on Scandal and the usual goings on over on HTGAWM.
The CW was filled with fresh superheroes again and lawyers suited up again on USA network.
Find out what what dripping from their lips from some of the most amusing quotes of the week, below!
Grey’s Anatomy
Correctional Officer: Visitor’s pass. Keep them on you at all times, you will not be let out without them. Miranda: What?!
Nashville
Scarlett: I can’t make love when I’m anxious about pretending to make love on camera tomorrow.
Homeland
Max: You OK? Quinn: I’m a fucking mutant. No, I’m not OK.
Taboo
Dumbarton: So what do you want? Delaney: Tea. Dumbarton: Tea? Delaney: You tell Carlsbad that I want tea. Dumbarton: You know, Carlsbad said that Delaney might just be crazy enough to take us all on: The King, the Company, and the free 15. Maybe she was right. Delaney: Well, you tell Carlsbad, from me, that I will cede sovereignty of Nootka Sound to whichever nation offers me the monopoly of the trade of furs for tea, from Fort George to Canton. A monopoly. That’s what I want. All the tea in China.
The Young Pope
Lenny: I prayed some more. Harder this time. I was praying so hard I nearly shit my pants. I glued my ass to my chair so not to make a mess.
The Affair
Margaret: You explained to him about your moods, right? The Helen of today is not the Helen of tomorrow.
The Librarians
Flynn: You finished with your little soliloquy? Because I’m tired.
The Magicians
The Beast: Brilliant. That laptop. The things they come up with when they don’t have magic. Julia: Yeah, like accounts that tweet police scanner activity. The Beast: Tweet? Birds have computer accounts? Julia: Don’t worry about it.
Gotham
Dwight: Jerome is here. He never left us. Each of you kept him alive. Each of you are Jerome. I am Jerome. We are all Jerome.
Supergirl
Alex: Okay, what’s bothering you? And it’s not Guardian. Kara: Who says anything’s bothering me? Alex: Crinkle. Kara: [Gasps] Crinkle. I’m going to get Botox for that. If you can figure out a way to get a needle in my skin, I mean.
The Bachelor
Brittany: I used to make fun of girls on this show for crying.
Lucifer
Lucifer: I see you’ve found my love handles.
Scorpion
Cabe: When I look at you, I see everything you have to offer. Sly: Thank you, Cabe. Cabe: But when everyone else looks at you, they see a man-child wearing a cloak!
Timeless
Rufus: Doesn’t the casual way we talk about murder every bother you? Wyatt: It isn’t murder. Rufus: Then what is it? Wyatt: It’s stopping bad guys from hurting good people. And no, it doesn’t bother me.
Shadowhunters
Clary: You think I should go? Isabelle: Of course not. No one in Idris is going to teach you how to fight in five-inch heels.
Jane the Virgin
Michael: I’m a car guy. Jane: What’s your favorite car? Michael: The Delorean… Okay I’m not a car guy.
Outsiders
Matt: I’m supposed to lay off two of your deputies. Wade: That’s not gonna happen. Matt: You’re right. I moved garbage pick up to once every three weeks and shut down the free clinic.
The Flash
Wally: Man, that was so dope. How do you stay so calm? You’re like scary calm in the middle of a fire. Barry: It’s just experience, Wally. That’s why it’s important for you to shadow me for a while and try to learn everything I know. Wally: And then I get to kick some ass.
Teen Wolf
Noah: Tell me about my son. Tell me one thing about Stiles that you remember, just one. Theo: You swipe that keycard, I’ll tell you anything you want. Liam: Sheriff…they are coming. Noah: One thing, JUST ONE THING! Theo: He was smart! He was smart enough not to trust me.
This Is Us
Toby: A romantic gesture of this magnitude is only effective if it is directed at the love of your life, alright? The end of Notting Hill completely falls apart if Hugh Grant thinks that Julia Roberts is just aight. Then he’s just kind of annoying her at a press conference, right?
Agents of SHIELD
Talbot [to Coulson]: This is politics, Phil. That means politicians. They are a festering cesspool of toxic waste fires.
Bull
Bull: Best narrative wins the case, but only the truth will set us free.
NCIS: New Orleans
LaSalle: Ladies first. Gregorio: No, you’re senior ranking agent. So, by all means … LaSalle: That’s true. But I’m also a gentleman, so after you. Percy: Hey, you’re both pretty. Let’s go.
NCIS
Ducky: Forgive me, Mr. Palmer, but I can’t resist the urge to give you one of my all-time favorite pieces of advice: “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Chicago Fire
Anna: It’s going to take a lot more bacon cheeseburgers before I’m back to my fighting weight.
Bones
Jessica: Why eat the toes when there’s so much good stuff left on the body?
Riverdale
Kevin: Oh my God! Betty: What? Kevin: Game changer – Archie got hot! He’s got abs now. Six more reasons for you to take that ginger bull by the horns tonight.
Salem
Cotton: If I enter Hell, you will spare the world your degradation? Anne: Oh no, Husband! Let’s not be greedy. Nothing can stop the plan my dark lord has for this world. You would save every life in Salem, even the life of your true love. What’s her name…Harmonia? Desdemona?! Cotton: Gloriana! Anne: Don’t you want to spare that pitiful whore an agonizing death?
Six
Bear: We get in. We get out. We ask forgiveness later.
Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce
Delia: Could you explain this? Gavin: Well, see, we were trying to make a cast out of Ronnie’s cock… Gal: It’s so beautiful. It belongs in a museum.
Suits
Harvey: Hey, if it’s going to be much longer I could just get some on the way. Donna: Hold your horses, Mister. Harvey: That was the best cup of coffee I’ve ever had. Donna: I told you it was worth the wait.
Arrow
Renee: So… mom and dad are going twelve rounds upstairs. Curtis: They’re just having a discussion.
Lethal Weapon
Murtaugh: I don’t even care if this is reciprocal or not, but I consider you a friend.
Star
Carlotta [to Derek]: My mother got her teeth knocked out so you could vote. Don’t tell me I got to open my eyes. I’m woke.
Vikings
Egil’s wife: Just tell them Egil! Egil: If I do it it is for you, not for me. I am dead anyway. Perhaps they will spare you. I was paid by King Harald Finehair.
Code Black
Ethan: You know what your problem is, Savetti? You’re good, but you’re always trying to convince everybody you’re great. You know the differences between the two? Mario: I don’t know. Brains, talent, courage? Ethan: Knowing your limits.
Colony
Katie: You know, after the arrival, I was horrified by how easily people gave up their freedom – not even a real fight – just to keep some semblance of their normal life. Right now, I’d give you *anything* for one day with my husband and my kids in our old house.
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Father Brah: Make sure this wedding is happening with you – not to you.
Supernatural
Crowley: Sam and Dean, they’re like herpes: Just when you think they’re gone, hello, the boys are back!
Scandal
Abby: Sir, he’s dead. Fitz: He isn’t dead until I say he’s dead.
How to Get Away with Murder
Bonnie: Your bail hearing is tomorrow at two. I called Helen Hughes. She wants the case. Eve would be a conflict of interest. Annalise: Everyone’s a conflict of interest.
Emerald City
West: So, are you a good witch or a bad witch?
The Vampire Diaries
Matt: This isn’t a good time. Caroline: Well, this phone call is not going to make it any better.
