Michael: Ahoy, matey.
Holly: Ahoy.
Michael: Ahoy. So, how you doin'?
Holly: Good.
Michael: Um, listen. Jan Levinson is coming in today, and she is in the terminal stages of her pregnancy - the child of which I have a vested interest. It's all kind of weird. Anyway, she is incredibly... fat and enormous right now - extremely unattractive. And you are, on the other hand, one of the more attractive people in the office. So, while she's here I am going to be acting kind of cold to you. And I am doing this to pay respect to her bloated feelings. And I'm treating Ryan the same way.
Holly: Of course. Yeah.


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Character:
Michael Scott
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 4: "Baby Shower"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Michael Scott Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 4 Quotes

I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They always complain. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I'm constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don't get sore, too? Do you think I don't need to know the fastest way to the hospital?

Stanley

Jan is about to have a baby with a sperm donor. And Michael is preparing for the birth of a watermelon with Dwight. Now, this baby will be related to Michael through delusion.

Jim