All I can think about is Captain Mustache plowing my ex-wife. ...

Tom: All I can think about is Captain Mustache plowing my ex-wife.
Andy: And you imagine he's wearing a cape, while he's plowing her?
Tom: What?
Andy: No, just Captain Mustache? I mean if all you could think of is Ron — you know — Maybe put him in some tights and a cape, and then it would be funny.
Tom: Now I'm imagining a cape.


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Characters:
Tom Haverford, Andy Dwyer
Episode:
Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 4: "Ron & Tammy, Part 2"
Show:
Parks and Recreation
Related Quotes:
Tom Haverford Quotes, Andy Dwyer Quotes, Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes, Parks & Rec Quotes
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Parks and Recreation Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes

My ex-wife Tammy likes to check in every so often and make sure I'm doing OK. And if I am, she tries to [expletive] everything up.

Ron

Jack Cooper: It appears you have an overdue book.
Ron: Oh, do I?
Jack Cooper: It's Not the Size of the Boat: Embracing Life with a Micropenis.
Ron: Tammy.

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  2. All I can think about is Captain Mustache plowing my ex-wife. ...