J.D.: All right, we-what's the problem with your dad?
Murray: Well, for starters, he named me "Murray." That's an old man's name!
J.D.: Oh, come on, no it isn't!
Murray: MURRAY!
Several old guys stick their heads out of their rooms and go, "Whaaat?"
Murray: Everything my father's ever done was designed to humiliate me.
J.D.: Murray!
Old guys: Whaaaaaat?
Murray: What?
J.D.: No, the youngest Murray!
Old Murray: I'm sixty-eight!
Murray: Thirty-four!

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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 11: "My Unicorn"
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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 11 Quotes

Janitor: Hey, buddy. I need you to reconsider Blonde Doctor. And I'm gonna tell you why. See, I'm the future Mr. Blonde Doctor? And I kinda need this to happen so that I can, uh - hey, over here - I need this to happen so that I can just hang out around the house and, you know, bake bread or... gab across the fence with neighbor Marge. Nice lady. Polish, I think. Doesn't matter, I'm not prejudice.
Interviewer: What the hell are you talking about?
Janitor: Here's the thing: I need you to take this can of orange soda, turn, smile, and give Blonde Doctor a big thumb's up! Or, I'm gonna take the same orange soda, follow you down to the parking lot, and smash your head in with it.

Murray: I don't know if I can go through with this. I wish there was something to help me get through the door.
Dr. Cox: Hey, jerk-hole.
J.D./Murray: Yeah?
Dr. Cox: No, new jerk-hole!