Sister Mary: Carlos is a diamond in the rough, a flawed man to be sure, but someone who is desperately searching for something to believe in. To satisfy your materialism, he ended up breaking the law. To deal with your adultery, he resorted to assault. As long as he's with you, he will never find what he's looking for.
Gabrielle: Well, I guess he should have thought of that before he married me.
Sister Mary: Some marriages are meant to be annulled.
Gabrielle: What the hell kind of nun are you? Look, if you try to come between me and my husband, I will take you down.
Sister Mary: I grew up on the south side of Chicago. If you wanna threaten me, you're gonna have to do a lot better than that.
Gabrielle: You listen to me, you little bitch. You do not want to start a war with me.
Sister Mary: Well, I have God on my side. Bring it on.


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Characters:
Gabrielle Solis, Mary Alice Young
Episode:
Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 9: "That's Good, That's Bad"
Show:
Desperate Housewives
Related Quotes:
Gabrielle Solis Quotes, Mary Alice Young Quotes, Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes, Desperate Housewives Quotes
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Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

Good guys wear white hats and bad guys wear black. This is how children distinguish between good and evil. But they soon learn that bad guys always don't look so bad. And sometimes they seem downright friendly. That is until you get to know them a little bit better.

Mary Alice

Sister Mary: Are you two involved in any charities?
Gabrielle: Currently? No.
Carlos: But we should be. I mean, let's face it Gabby, buying more stuff isn't gonna make our lives any better.
Sister Mary: Exactly. Money can't buy happiness.
Gabrielle: Well, sure it can. That's just a lie we tell poor people to keep 'em from rioting!
Carlos: Gabby!
Gabrielle: It's a joke. Lighten up.
Carlos: Can you believe this? I'm married to a woman so selfish, she makes fun of the entire concept of charity.
Gabrielle: You are a hypocrite. The money you spent to buy your sports car could buy a mud hut for every peasant in Ecuador.
Carlos: Ok, you're right. But I'm evolving, starting right now. Sister, I would like to donate my car to your mission.
Gabrielle: What?!
Sister Mary: Carlos, are you sure?
Carlos: Absolutely. Gabrielle and I don't need two cars, we can share one.
Gabrielle: Share? What if you have the car and I need to go shopping.
Carlos: We're gonna cut back on shopping too.
Gabrielle (yelling): Ok, I think we should all just calm down a little bit!