For the first time in my long history of being locked inside things, I knew someone would come.

Abed: You gotta let me out!
Toby: No, not until Stockholm Syndrome sets in.

I remember when this show was about community college.

Abed: Which wire do I cut?
Troy: There's only one.
Abed: God, I hope I'm right.

Chang started his solo. Knowing him, that gives us only nine minutes to get to the records room.

This job's getting bigger than my wife's credit card bill at Marshall's. I mean, they have great stuff, I know that.

Troy: Don't be alarmed if things get a little noisy.
Abed: Like my wife's mouth.

Abed: She can make babies for me.
Troy: Oh and I can't?

You're VH1, Robocop 2 and Back to the Future 3. You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You're Jim Belushi.

Evil Abed

Abed: I'm reading the novelization of The Chronicles of Riddick.
Evil Abed: Can you really say that's a saner decision?

We couldn't have been expelled by the real dean; he loves us.

We're together, that makes this the perfect timeline.

Community Quotes

Jeff: Everyone on this campus is nuts
Leonard [in pool]: Not me!
Jeff: Oh come on Leonard, if you're going to argue with me, put on a bathing suit
Leonard: Busted

I've loved you since there was only one Soviet Union and one Damon Wayans.

Andre