Just so you know Jeff, you're not creating six different timelines.

We spend too much time together.

Troy/Abed

Troy: If you want to get us a gift we're registered at Linens n' Things.
Abed: We have plenty of linens. We only want the things.

Abed: Jeff wants to see you.
Annie: And I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.

Troy: It's like a million bucks in dog dollars.
Abed: Word.

Shirley, pretend I'm saying this in a soothing, reassuring, non-robotic voice. We're not gonna make it to the hospital.

Abed: Don't tell any doctors I said this, but at this point in the situation the bus pretty much drives itself.
Shirley: Who is the bus in this scenario?

I'm Jeff Winger. I love working this Blackberry because it really tones my thumbs.

Abed: The Cape is premiering!
Britta: Humanity is premiering you jag!

Britta is attracted to men in pain. It helps her pretend to be mentally healthy.

Abed: What could I do? It was Cougar Town.
Jeff: If you want me to take it seriously, stop saying its name.

Abed: For GCTV this is Abed Nadir saying: Did you know you can make napalm out of common dish soap and cat food?

Community Quotes

Can we just take a mental step backwards and realize we're simply in a Winnebago?

Jeff

Britta: Are you okay? It looks like you have actual bedhead this morning.
Jeff: In fashion, I'm what's known as a taste-maker.
Britta: And you missed an entire side of your face shaving.
Jeff: And next month, so will Gwen Stefani