Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
Sheldon: I don't want to. But, it looks like you have left me no choice.
Amy: That's true. I've been a very bad girl.

Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bath yourself? Or, do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

Sheldon: How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you, and apply Vaporub to your chest.
Amy: You want you rub something on my chest.
Sheldon: Yes, all over it.
Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon: Now you're being a responsible patient.
Sheldon: Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy: Oh, I'm counting on it.

Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. I'm not that kind of doctor.

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

Amy: Well, Howard's never gonna go to space again, but Sheldon will always be a genius.
Bernadette: You're right. And, I'm sure Sheldon will get a fancy parking spot again if and when he makes a worthwhile contribution to science.
Amy: If and when?

Amy: At some point, they're bound to lock horns.
Penny: I'm assuming these are some kind of horns they bought at Comic-Con?

Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.

Sheldon: Eat one of your Luna bars. Very often when women think they're angry they're really just hungry.
Amy: I'm not hungry!

Wil Wheaton: You do realize I'm doing this for free, right?
Amy: Yes and so far we're still not getting our money's worth.

Amy: You'll have to forgive me. This is my first time directing. I just want it to be good.
Wil Wheaton: So, do I.
Amy: Great. So, this time let's try more real boy and less Pinocchio.
And action.
Wil Wheaton: And cut.

TBBT Quotes

It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors

Sheldon

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.