Darryl: We have a voluntary meeting in the conference room to talk about Erin's...confidence.
Andy: Her body.

Now I know why Michael hated you so much.

I just want ONE mother f*cking delicious moment.

I earned that job! I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit.

Andy: How do you not have a toothbrush?
Erin: I just, there's always one around.

I haven't proposed to anyone in years.

Robert: It's been ten days since I've had sexual intercourse.
Andy: Well you came to the right place.

Gam Gam's name is Ruth. Jim you should know. I introduced you that one time, on speaker phone.

Susan: You didn't say goodbye to your grandmother.
Andy: We promised we'd never say goodbye.

What I wouldn't give for one of Phyllis's classic room clearing farts right now.

Andy: When you're in a rock n roll band with somebody, you're bonded for life.
Darryl: Usually their life is short and tragic.

You're the deuce I never wanna drop.

The Office Quotes

Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was Puke. I would chug a fifth of SoCo, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more SoCo, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight Bs. They called me Buzz.

Andy