Andy: Ohh babe you had a crush on me, that's emabrassing!
April: We're married.
Andy: Still!

She'll take it! Lets talk perks. Does she get the summer off like school?!

Tell him it's Count Chocula. Wait, no, sorry it's Andy Dwyer

Was it Putin? Voldemort Putin? Of Russia?

I got something big and exciting. All I need is a blimp --

If you want something badly. you just gotta believe it's gonna work out.

If we can't get the rights, I'm going ot walk

Tom: In the words of Jerry Maguire.
Andy: The human head ways eight pounds.

I mean $100 bucks a week is pretty fair.

I made a list of the things you love. Playing with our dog, staring contests, having sex with me - and so on. Then I lost the list.

Why? Was there something inside the stupid ball?

Andy: That book sounded so boring I almost cried a little.
April: Aw babe I'm sorry you had to hear that, you're safe now.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.

I don't like charity. Feels like I'm giving money away and getting nothing in return.

Dennis Feinstein