Andy Dwyer Quotes
How 'bout a submarine pilot?
This is why they call it Beantown, huh?
Andy: Head coach of the Chicago Bulls.
Tom: No he's uhh, we're with a non profit -
Andy: What!? No! Am I? That sucks.
Chicagooooo! The big apple!
Aw are you bummed Tom? I have a quick fix for that - let's get hammered. Everything is free here.
Andy: We are responsible adults, you know what that means right?
April: I know.
Andy: That means we have money and we're going to buy the f*ck out of this house
12 closets, 3 bomb shelters, 5 dumbwaiters, 2 3/8ths bath, no kitchens. Fairly standard layout.
I'm gonna get naked, I'm gonna get up there, and everybody's gonna see my weiner! I mean, you've seen it, you know how dumb it looks!
Meanwhile, me and you are on a boat - to the airport.
April: I guess I could pick up a brisket tomorrow and start it for dinner Thursday.
Andy: Oh Thursday's no good - I have production meetings ALL day. And we have dinner with Joe and Donna on Friday. Hey, you know, Sunday. We could go to the farmer's market, put the brisket in the slow cooker, get a movie on payper view - the new Jason Borne movie is supposed to be pretty funny.
Andy: And I have my own TV show!
Announcer: Welcome back to the Johnny Awesome: Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show!
Andy: If you do collapse, I know first aid, er karate.
Leslie: That’s not first aid.
Andy: It is if you do it right! Heimlich!