Jeff! It's bad luck to see the graduation before the graduation!

I know you're all wondering how I do it. How do I balance straight A's, extracurriculars, and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night?

Abed: I'm the super-villain. I'm emotionless, logical, smarter than everyone else--
Annie: Hey!

Annie: Shirley, I'm speaking for both you and me.
Shirley: Then you might want to teach your mouth to say "we," "our," and "us."

Annie: Shirley! We were just-
Abed:-about to-
Troy:-eat garbage dip! Why did I have to go third??

This is the Jonestown of dinners.

Annie: I lost Abed!
Troy: I told you to never let him out of your sight! That goes double for holidays and wax museums!

Whatevs, we'll take it next semes. Ter. Semester.

Shirley: Now what are you doing?
Annie: He was suffering!
Shirley: Yeah from axe wounds!

Britta: Everything is terrible.
Annie: Have you been watching Dance Moms again?

Greendale has warped me like a Barbie in a microwave!

Diffuse the IED of dishonesty.

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.