Jeff: If it's any consolation, she got me here on a very misleading text message.
Annie: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.

I'll see you on the other side inspector, wherever that is.

Abed: Running scenarios? Careful now, you're starting to sound like Abed.
Annie: So I probably shouldn't say things like star wards, zardas, cougartown cool cool cool pop culture pop culture, I'm on a tvshow

Annie: You don't have a patent on being a control freak Abed.
Abed: I sorta do.

She's whipped by an imaginary douche!

Kim: You're really mean.
Annie: Put it in a letter, Jane Austen!

Annie: The "Webster's Dictionary defines" intro is The Jim Belushi of speech openings: it accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps on using it, and no one knows why.

Pierce! They're just trying to pander to your demographic's well-documented historical vanity. Resist!

Annie: I'll be at the movies with my Bubby.
Troy: You're not taking both of them?
Annie: Well one's dead.
Troy: WHAT!

Britta don't make jokes, you're bad at it!

I'm a werewolf who feeds on selfish vampires!

She ripped into his torso like a gerbil shredding a Quaker Oats box!

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.