Ari Gold Quotes
She looks great and she's single. You know what John Mayer said about her. Sexual napalm. You love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like victory.
I'm now on Facebook because of you. I've got 600 friends. [Looks at Jessica Simpson] And John Mayer is not one of them.
Lloyd [about the dog]: Isn't he delicious?
Ari: Find something else to cook for dinner. Jessica is taking him.
Please don't tell me you're the one who picked up the straight Lizzie from the harsh gutter of life.
I think your eye is growing cataracts because as you see by the day's events, anyone she wants or has, be it a sitcom actor or a circus freak, I'm going after.
Mike Tyson: I wanna do like the black Brady Bunch. I'm trying to rehab my image. I want to spread some of that worldly wisdom that I picked up on my journey in life.
Ari: And then if Bobby doesn't listen to you, you bite his ear off.
Lloyd: Feels like old times.
Ari: You want a demotion?
Ari: That's what marriage is for: so you can bang out your anger.
Assistant: I couldn't find out what Katzenberg likes to eat.
Ari: He lives off Diet Coke, you see how lean he is?
Assistant: Ari, you don't have to be nervous. You're gonna do great.
Ari: What are you, my life coach?
Ari [off to speak with Lizzy who is leaving the company]: Send 'm off with sweetness Jake! Hopefully you won't have to taste my sugar any time soon.
Assistant: Yeah, let's hope.
Ari: Well I was hoping that we could part on good terms.
Lizzy: You can go fuck yourself Ari.
Ari: Now is that nice? I'm preparing a nice severance package for you. You don't want me angry when I'm writing you a check, do you?
