Google-schmoogle, I'll still with paper.

Artie: Claudia, you're going to write down the license plate numbers.
Claudia: As you bark 'em out.

What, I saw it all on Mythbusters?

Steve: I could tell you were lying.
Artie: Yeah, that never gets old.

Steve: Oh, I'm sorry my burglary skills are a little rusty.
Artie: We're Warehouse agents this isn't burglary this is creative snagging.

Artie: I'm just gonna pretend we own a big down.
Claudia: We kinda do.

[Leena gasps]
Pete: You gasped! You rarely gasp!
Artie: Pete's right, why did you gasp?

Artie's Law of Artifacts states that the worst thing that can happen with an artifact will happen with an artifact.

I'm a little rusty on my hieroglyphics - please no age jokes - so give me a little more time.

Claudia: I'm coming with you.
Artie: Why? No, why?
Claudia: A hospital Artie. There's going to be blood. When you faint someone needs to be there to break your fall.

Claudia: What's that smell?
Artie: I don't smell anything.
Claudia: Exactly, you're primped. You're going to see Dr. Vanessa.

Artie: Turn it on, turn it on Claudia!
Claudia: Do you think griping at me will enhance my speed?