The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXBarney Gumble Quotes
Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray!
Moe: Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: Maybe your standards are too high! (bar laughs)
Moe: (To Bart) You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
Uh oh, my heart just stopped..... oh, there it goes.
(Homer finds Barney chomping on a severed arm)
Homer: Barney, not you too!
Barney: I'm not a zombie, but hey, when in Rome.
Homer: Moe, have you ever felt unattractive?
Moe: Mmmm, no.
Homer: How about you, Barney?
Barney: Not for a second! (*belch*)
Barney: What are these axes for?
Chief Wiggum: I dunno, chopping stuff.
Barney: Gotcha. (chops down the Simpson's mailbox)
Chief Wiggum: That's some nice choppin'.
Alright, a peanut!
</i> Barney
Barney: You know, I heard the jackpot is up to one hundred and thirty million dollars.
Homer: PFF!...ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS!!!!
Barney: Did you say one hundred and thirty million dollars?
Homer: Yeah!
Barney: Wow!
Homer: Hi Barney, thanks for keeping me company!
Barney: No problem...well, well, if it isn't little Bart! Remember me, your uncle Barney! Hey Homer let me hold him.
Homer: Alright, but just be careful!
Barney: Whoa! Someone smells stinky! Oh it's me!
Homer: Barney! I lost the baby! What am I going to do!?
Barney: Don't worry. Don't worry. Know what I'm going to do? I'm going to make you an omelet.
Homer: Just help me look.
Barney: Are you sure? I make 'em with four kinds of cheese.
Moe: I'm sorry Homer, you can't take any more of my money, I'm out of the bookie business.
Barney: But Moe, you've been taking bets all
Moe: Hey Barney, how bout a free beer!
Barney: Wow!
Homer: Don't worry, Moe, I'm not betting.
Moe: What!? Gimmie that.
Barney: Ooow!
Bart: I'm looking for a Mrs. O'Problem, first name Bea.
Moe: Uh, yeah just a minute, I'll check. (Calling) Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem?!
Barney: You sure do!
(The customers laugh)
Moe: It's you, isn't it!
(Bart laughs)
Moe: Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
