Favorite Barney Stinson Quotes
Barney [after leaving Robin a weird sound on her voicemail]: She wasn't there. I left a voicemail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male
[drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Barn Door. Guess what, I'm open!
Asian girls love them some Jews.
Ted: Well after he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, I made an impromptu presentation using a four pronged approached that really brought him to his knees
Barney: Hit him with a chair?
Dude working together is going to be legen- wait for it ...I'll send you an inter office memo with the rest because we friggin' work together!
Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out.
In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story
Ted, tonight is gonna be Epic- wait for it...Dary! Wait that's not it, how do I usually say it? Ugh I hate this Quinn girl!
I'm gonna die alone. Ted's gonna be eaten by cats!
Barney: We both like scotch. We're both awesome.
Robin: Maybe that's the problem. Maybe there's just too much awesome here.
Barney: Yes. Two awesomes cancel each other out. I'm tired of being canceled out.
[to Ted] Your mom and I got to second base.