Barry Zuckerkorn Quotes
Take to the sea!
Barry Zuckerkorn: Ooooo! And that's what we call a law-bomb!
Attorney: That's a low blow, Loblaw.
Bob Loblaw: A Bob Loblaw Law Bomb!
Do you want me to tell him to go f*** himself? I can tell Row Howard to go f*** himself.
George Sr: Where's Barry?
Lucille: He's with the harbormaster. He's trying to dazzle them with a suit of his own.
Barry: Well, he hated the suit. Thought I was making fun.
Those are balls. You're looking at balls here.
Barry: You don't want to go in front of that judge. I caught him in a drag club.
Gob: What were you doing there?
Barry: Wow, you should be the lawyer.
Barry: You really wanna settle this, now your job is to convince that "wife" of yours that you are willing to go in front of a judge and admit that you never had sex.
Gob: She has a name Barry. You don't happen to know what it is by the way, do ya?
Barry: That's why I want to settle...I'm not "super prepared".
Gob: Well, we did have sex...and I'm not a great liar.
Narrator: Both things he just said were lies.
Michael: We need to speak to you about getting a divorce for Gob.
Barry: Well, I got Michael out of his marriage, didn't I?
(Smiles and holds up hand for high five)
Michael: Actually, she died.
Barry: You're kidding me. I've been taking credit for that for years!
Barry: A company called Stanpor.
Michael: As in the opposite of Sitwell, which is run by a certain hairless man who could be very upset with you right now.
Gob: What has he to be upset with me about? (one of his eyebrows drops down)
Michael: You are wearing his eyebrows?
Gob: It made me feel dressier.
Barry: Unfortunately, it's a private stock, so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell.
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry: That's what they said on "Ask Jeeves".
Barry: Well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.
Michael: It's not going to happen.
Can I have a moment alone with my client, please? (to Michael) Did you follow any of that?