The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXBart Simpson Quotes
The world may end in 2010, but this show won't.
Apu: Lisa, how do you like sharing a bathroom with two brothers?
Lisa: Two brothers? Bart, who is this kid?
Bart: He's an orphan, he's like Annie except he's a dude and he hates tomorrow.
Charlie: I hate it so much.
Bart: How did you escape the island of misfit boys?
Charlie: Shimmied down a drain pipe.
Bart: You like to shimmy? I like to shimmy. Where do you see yourself in twenty years?
Charlie: One-armed drummer in a prison rock band.
Bart: Nice. Favorite Beatle?
Charlie: Dung.
Charlie: Wake up.
Bart: I'm Bart Simpson, who the hell are you?
Charlie: I'm your new brother.
Bart: Are you from the orphanage or do I really not undersand how babies are born?
Bart: Hope you saved room for passion fruit suflee cremon glaze for two.. and one for mom.
Homer: There come's a time in every marriage when it comes down to this, do we eat dessert or make love?
Homer: Girls are easy. Girls love daddy. Girls make birthday cards with glitter on them. Girls can marry a hockey player and get me free tickets to hockey games. Girls don't steal my lines. And girls never ask me how their body works because I have no idea.
Bart: You never told me how my body works.
Homer: Point and shoot.
Bart: Dad, I want a baby brother.
Homer: Haha. Son, I love you kids, but I'm only going to the hospital one more time in my life, and I ain't coming out.
Bart: Oh my god, I want a brother.
Lisa: You can have mine, but he's kind of an idiot.
Marge: A branch must have knocked out the power lines.
Bart: That's fine, I'll see what's on TV.
Marge: That runs on electricity, also.
Bart: Alright, I'll watch a DVD, there's no way that runs on electricity.... Really, does Obama know about this?
Bart: Your honor, I'd like to enter something into the record.
Judge: Strangely, I'll allow it.
Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a big dummy with a stupid job. I write down what other people say just like a big dummy would. Could the court reporter read that back?
Court Reporter: I'm a big dummy with a stupid job... hey!
Bart: Dad! Lisa's making me see things from both sides again!
Homer: Lisa, I warned you about that!
Lisa: Shouldn't Bart have all the information he needs to make an informed decision?
Homer: Now you're doing it to me, aww...
Bart: Willie, I know you witnessed the most awesome prank since creation.
Willie: I'll nay speak to you of those dark times, Bart Simpson.
Bart: But if there was a more awesome dude than I, I need to know who he was, what he did and how many days detention he got.
