(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.
Bart: Ping.
Lisa: Pong.

• Permalink: Ping. Pong. Ping. Pong.
• Added: December 22, 2010

They hanged him for murder and buried him in an unmarked grave. When they came back the next day, the whole cemetery was missing!

• Permalink: They hanged him for murder and buried him in an unmarked grave. ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Marge: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't work, maybe when you're an adult you can pay some lady to make you happy for an hour.
Bart: Ya know, I'm pretty sure I will.

• Permalink: Bart, honey, this is all we can afford for now. If it doesn't wo...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Then I had this crazy dream that my family were all just cartoon characters and that our success led to some crazy propaganda network called Fox News.

• Permalink: Then I had this crazy dream that my family were all just cartoon...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Lisa: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.
Bart: All I got is Grandpa's medication.

• Permalink: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich. All I got...
• Added: December 22, 2010

(Bart tries to reject conversation with his therapist.)
Dr. Swanson: Well, I get paid whether you make progress or not. Why don't we just kill the time playing video games?
Bart: (Sarcastically) Yeah right. I bet you got a bunch of learning games. Why don't you go online and find a boyfriend, while I take a nap?
(Bart turns over and lies down on the couch.)
Dr Swanson: Actually, I just got "Death Kill City II: Death Kill Stories!"
Bart: Whoa! You've got DKCIIDKS?! That one's rated bad for everyone!

• Permalink: Well, I get paid whether you make progress or not. Why don't we ...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Bart: Years ago, Stanley DeGroot was a cook here at school. All the kids made fun of him because he never graduated from college.
Kids: Stanley, Stanley, no degree! Two credits short at MIT!

• Permalink: Years ago, Stanley DeGroot was a cook here at school. All the ki...
• Added: December 22, 2010

(Bart and Lisa ride dolphins)
Bart: Mine has a cup holder!
Lisa: That's a blowhole!
Bart: You're a blowhole!

• Permalink: Mine has a cup holder! That's a blowhole! You're a blowhole!
• Added: December 22, 2010

Minister: So how many brides are you marrying today, Mr. Simpson?
Bart: Just one.
Minister: (scoffs) What are you, gay?

• Permalink: So how many brides are you marrying today, Mr. Simpson? Just o...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Darcy: You look kind of young.
Bart: Uh, yeah, I have that disease that makes you look like an old man, but they gave me medicine for it and I took too much.

• Permalink: You look kind of young. Uh, yeah, I have that disease that mak...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Darcy: I'm very religious that way.
Bart: How religious can you be if you're pregnant.
(Darcy slaps Bart)
Bart: Good answer.

• Permalink: I'm very religious that way. How religious can you be if you'r...
• Added: December 22, 2010

Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!

• Permalink: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check...
• Added: December 22, 2010