The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSBernadette Quotes
Bernadette: Have you guys ever thought about getting a dining room table?
Amy: Yeah. You actually do have room for one up there.
Raj: Oh, sure, I sit on the floor for years, no one cares. The pretty white girl's there ten seconds, and suddenly we're all running to Ikea.
Penny: Okay, sex is not what makes you a grown-up.
Bernadette: Yeah, or you'd be the oldest one here.
Penny: Really? Is that how you talk to your mother?
Those tickets were pretty expensive. I had to give Howie an advance on his allowance. Now he's never gonna put his toys away.
Jessie: You're back.
Bernadette: Yes I am. There are a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine, and he's a much nicer person than you are, and if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jessie: No problem. You want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jessie: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better.
Howard: Fake a laugh? Do you ever do that with me?
Bernadette: No, of course not.
Howard: Well, I'd be able to tell anyway.
Bernadette: I don't think you would.
Howard: Please, I've made plenty of girls laugh, sometimes just by asking them out.
Bernadette: [Laughs]
Howard: Yeah, well, I fake my orgasms.
Bernadette: How come the three of you never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship with his mom.
Howard: I lived with her to save money.
Raj: You didn't have to buy groceries because you were breast feeding.
Yeah, we were totally fine half-assing our marriage till you showed up.
Penny: Ooh, that looks like fun.
Bernadette: Maybe you should master glue before you move on to fire.
Sheldon: To the planetarium!
Penny: Let's go!
Leonard: To the Tar Pits!
Bernadette: Let's go!
Amy: There's a Neil Diamond concert next month.
Howard: Let's go!
Howard: I feel so stupid. And fat.
Bernadette: That's okay. You still look great to me. In fact, why don't we go in the bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
Howard: Sex? Really? That's just your solution for everything.
Howard: You're full of estrogen and you don't act like that.
Bernadette: That's 'cause I'm a woman. I've had years of practice riding the dragon.
Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.
