Bill: Skylar what were you designing?
Skylar: The end of the world.

Bill: Gary, whose baby is that?
Gary: I don't know, some lady gave him to me downstairs, told me to take care of him.

It's like asking an alcoholic to only drink in the office.

Bill: Who's manning the fort?
Gary: It's not a fort Bill; it's a bad metaphor. Forts have round things and cannons.

If only we can get the DoD to buy us a new car.

Bill: What, like a bat?
Rosen: Or a dolphin.

So I located Gary, he's at the 18th precinct. He was arrested for illegal parking and resisting arrest and for impersonating a federal officer. He should be out in about fifteen years.

Gary: I told you it was there, I'm a good partner.
Bill: Yes, you are a good partner.

Can we please get a proper conference table?

Bill: Learn to follow instructions, you were a marine weren't you?
Cameron: Yeah, and now you know why I'm a civilian.

Bill: Hicks you have got to be kidding me.
Cameron: What?
Bill: You leave a crime scene to go get a cup of coffee?
Cameron: You know I would have brought you a donut but they ran out.

Gary: Give me the gun I'll shoot it.
Bill: Gary, I'm not giving you my gun.
Gary: Yeah, give me your-no, you're right. Give me a grenade.

Alphas Quotes

If I fix it, I can get to drive the car.


Take this ticket and eat it. Take the carbon copy too.