Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXBrian Griffin Quotes
I think Anne Murray sucks and that's my opinion.
Brian: What the hell? Are you listening to Anne Murray?
Stewie: Uh, I am experiencing Anne Murray.
Brian: Why? That music is complete crap.
Stewie: Um, excuse me?
Brian: It's all this vapid, overproduced tripe, it has no edge whatsoever.
You kiss your mother with that mouth? (Stewie vomits at the reference)
Brian: Hey, you think you might be able to get me some acid?
Stewie: I'll get you a rolled-up newspaper on the snout is what I'll get you! Very! Bad! Dog!
Lois: Are you and Glenn thinking about children?
Charmese: Unfortunately, I can't have children.
Lois: Oh. Menopause?
Charmese: No, I got knifed in the vagina one Christmas.
Brian: Oh, the holidays are always stressful.
Brian: I just wish I could have had five years to be good.
Stewie: There's your voice, Brian. It's a depressing voice, but it's yours. Write from that.
Brian: Wow, this is amazing, every major playwright is here.
Stewie: Yes, and it seems to be quite the successful party. Several of them have already committed suicide.
Brian: Stewie, don't you think you're overdoing it with that outfit?
Stewie: I don't wear anything I can't take off with a flourish.
Brian: I think, I think we're launching!
Lois: Oh my god, everyone strap yourselves in! Stewie, hold my hand.
Stewie: No thanks, I prefer to die giving you the finger.
Peter: If this is what it takes to get out of Florida, fine.
Brian: (as Robbie) I think I might hang out in the town square. I hear an oracle from Greece is sending a funny message and I wanna be there when it arrives.
Messenger: (running in and gasping for air) Penis.
Brian: Heh.
Peter: (as Joseph) Oh my God, look at that body. Can't you just imagine her standing on people's front lawns inside a cut-in-half bathtub?
Brian: (as Robbie) You should go talk to her and see if she can talk.
Meg: I can only imaging what it was like for them on that very first Christmas.
Brian: Yeah, it was probably very moving. And fictional.
Stewie: Jesus lived with us for like a week, what else do you need?
