Do they even have to talk? They could just touch tentacles and download.

Calling for help? A for help.

Britta: Everything is terrible.
Annie: Have you been watching Dance Moms again?

Britta: Shut up, Leonard. I know about your crooked wang.
Leonard: No such thing as bad press.

The dean has been kidnapped! He's out there somewhere cold, alone, most likely trying to cobble together a sexy Patty Hearst costume.

So what you call insanity, we call solidarity!

Left unintended I will do him like a crossword.

I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math, but if I were, I'd be the super classy kind who gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.

You are so emotionally closed off in bed to the point that one time I didn't come up because I couldn't find good enough parking.

I refused to give Santa a Christmas List because I didn't want to depend on a man for anything.

Jeff: Do you even know what an analogy is:
Britta: It's a a thought... with another thought's hat on.

Shirley: My problem with the Glee club is that their conveniently secular music rejects the reason for the season, JC.
Britta: Penneys?
Shirley: Jesus, Britta.
Britta: Sorry! Jon Cryer?

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.