Do they even have to talk? They could just touch tentacles and download.

Calling for help? A for help.

Britta: Everything is terrible.
Annie: Have you been watching Dance Moms again?

Britta: Shut up, Leonard. I know about your crooked wang.
Leonard: No such thing as bad press.

The dean has been kidnapped! He's out there somewhere cold, alone, most likely trying to cobble together a sexy Patty Hearst costume.

So what you call insanity, we call solidarity!

Left unintended I will do him like a crossword.

I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math, but if I were, I'd be the super classy kind who gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.

You are so emotionally closed off in bed to the point that one time I didn't come up because I couldn't find good enough parking.

I refused to give Santa a Christmas List because I didn't want to depend on a man for anything.

Jeff: Do you even know what an analogy is:
Britta: It's a a thought... with another thought's hat on.

Shirley: My problem with the Glee club is that their conveniently secular music rejects the reason for the season, JC.
Britta: Penneys?
Shirley: Jesus, Britta.
Britta: Sorry! Jon Cryer?

Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

Pop, pop, Captain.