It was almost like being on ecstasy, only that instead of having pointless conversations and dancing like idiots...wait, it was exactly like being on ecstasy!

He only has the one eye Jeff, I can't exactly buy him a cat monocle. It's pretentious.

I'm in Psych 101 and even I don't know what's happening.

When you become roommates with friends, the things you love about them become the things that make you want to smother them with a pillow.

Britta: So Oedipal.
Priest [to Britta]: You're the worst.

Jeff: What's that complex called when you're wrong about everything?
Britta: Ah sarcasm, from the man with the mother of all daddy issues.

Wow Pierce! Congratulations on meeting the minimum requirements for of open mindedness!

Britta: I'm turned on by how logical you are.
Abed: I'm comforted by your shiny hair and facial symmetry.

Jeff, one of our friends is deeply disturbed.

Drug addict?? You're a pie pusher!!!

Britta [to Shirley]

His whole personality is based around guarding himself. You don't have to be like that to be a man.

Britta [about Jeff]

Britta: Do you know sugar is like baby meth? That's what my homeopath says.
Shirley: Well maybe your gay friend should mind his own business!

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.