Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.

The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

If we lose, we should throw possums.

Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra.
Santana: Those are your nipples.

Brittany: Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

Glee Quotes

[to Finn] Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day. Thank you.

Will

Did somebody die in here?

Sam