Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.

The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

If we lose, we should throw possums.

Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra.
Santana: Those are your nipples.

Brittany: Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

Glee Quotes

Quinn: Home for the holidays, just like we promised.
Finn: Guys, I...
Puck: Dude, if you start crying, I'm gonna kick your ass. Group hug!

You have seven months of your life left. Enjoy it.

Rachel [to Quinn]