I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time and I forgot how to leave.

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

The way to get a man to follow you forever, take his virginity. Madonna wrote a song about it.

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.

Sue: Anything else?
Brittany: Sometimes I forget my middle name.

Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

Brittany: You're a really good dancer.
Finn: Thanks, but my feet weren't really dancing.
Brittany: That was the best part.

Glee Quotes

[to Finn] Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy mopes around and sits on his ass until his best man helps save the day. Thank you.

Will

Did somebody die in here?

Sam