Chandler Bing Quotes
Joey: If you hated the bracelet so much Chandler, you should have just said so.
Chandler: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Joey: What about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
Chandler: Okay, well, that's the part where I'm a wank.
Joey: (Watching the prom video) What is with your nose?
Rachel: They had to reduce it because of my deviated septum.
Chandler: Okay, I was wrong. That's what they used to cover Connecticut.
Joey: Some girl ate Monica!
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Ah, so how many cameras are actually on you?
Phoebe: What's this?
Monica: That's my bathing suit from high school. I was a little bigger then.
Chandler: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
Susie: (Getting ready to run off with Chandler's clothes) This is for the fourth grade.
Chandler: Huh? What do you mean?
Susie: What do I mean? What do you mean what do I mean? I mean, underpants, mister! That's what I mean!
Chandler: What?
Susie: My skirt! You lifted! Kids laughing! I was "Susie Underpants" till I was 18!
Chandler: That was 20 years ago! How can you still be upset about that?
Susie: Well, I'll tell you what. Why don't you call me in 20 years and let me know if you're still upset about this?
Susie: Remember the class play? You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underwear?
Chandler: Yeah, back then I used humor as a defense mechanism. Thank God I don't do that anymore.
Chandler: All right, one of you guys give me your underwear.
Ross: Oh, no.
Joey: Can't help you there. I'm not wearing any.
Chandler: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
Joey: Oh, I'm taking heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
Susie: Have you ever worn womens' underwear?
Chandler: Well, yes, actually, but they were my Aunt Edna's. And there were three of us in there.
Susie: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
Chandler: Because I went to an all-boys high school and God is making up for it?
Chandler: Stick a fork in me, I'm done.
Phoebe: Stick a fork what?
Chandler: You know, like when you're cooking a steak.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't eat meat.
Chandler: Well how do you tell when vegetables are done?
Phoebe: Well you just, you know, you eat them and you can tell.
Chandler: Okay, then eat me, I'm done.
Chandler: Pheebs, can I have the milk after you?
Phoebe: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
Susie: All right mister, let's see those panties.
Chandler: All right. (Chandler's pants drop from under the bathroom stall door)
Susie: Ooh. Ooh. But you know what would be even sexier?
Chandler: What?
Susie: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
