Owe! You're unusually strong for a little person

[after Megan and Charlie kiss]
Megan: Woh..
Charlie: I love you Megan.. Tell me you feel the same way and I won't go. Tell me you need me to stay

Megan: Lily got married
Charlie: What!?
Megan: Thank you for having the proper reaction. What!?

Charlie: Now let me give you some advice
Megan: Like I need any, but go ahead
Charlie: Will just lost a job, right? Probably the first real rejection the guy's ever had. So instead of focusing on the imaginary test you thought you gave him, why not try being the great girlfriend he needs right now?
Megan: It's a little on the simple side

I have nothing to prove and only $400 / month to gain

Rose: I just really need an objective opinion from an older person and you're like the oldest person I know who that doesn't work for me
Charlie: It's a weird little world you live in Rose

Marco: Why don't you write her a Dear John letter while your at it
Charlie: What are you talking about?
Marco: Don't be coy with me Chuckles

Charlie: Not every guy is gonna cheat on you
Megan: You say there but I haven't told you about the hot blond in Jacob's office
Charlie: Here we go
Megan: I'm not crazy. There was a vibe!
Charlie: I'm sure there was. You're still crazy

Megan: Who said I'm not ready?
Charlie: Another question for your therapist, by the way which I'm not

The case of sage's exploding face has officially been solved. Apparently Betty and Veronica here thought it would be a good idea to put muscle relaxers in Sage's drink.

Megan: It'd be weird for the girls to see their headmaster in a speedo.
Charlie: Well if the man wears a speedo, I cannot allow you to date him

Charlie: She bought porn? Who buys porn anymore? It's all free on the internet
Megan: Cost is not the issue here

Privileged Quotes

Boss [about Megan's hair]: It's just so bright
Megan: Everyone loves Lucille Ball but no one does anything about it.
Boss: This isn't about the hair, though it is really distracting...

Hey lady, i can see your va-jay-jay!

Random kid