Little tip from a professional. Next time you want to kill a bazillion year old psycho, don't choose a sword from the junior's section.

No talking until I'm seeing two of you. Then I'll kick both of your asses.

Huh. Looks like mom raised her man crush from the dead...

Well, glad to see you boarding this train to Crazytown, Bonnie Bennett. I was getting lonely all by myself.

Bonnie: Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
Damon: Hey! I do not go behind people's backs and torture them. I like my enemies to look me in the eye and see the depth of my rage.

Guess it ain't a party until the mean girls show up.

Dear Elena, yes you heard that correctly. Hell has frozen over. I'm writing it all down. Granted, I'm half a bottle in thanks to my 1950 Chateau Cheval Blanc, a bottle I waited 65 years to open. I used to spend nights sitting in my wine cellar convincing myself I could hear it age, tannins growing, fermenting, but appreciating its beauty didn't make time go by any faster. The bottle just laid there on its shelf, torturing me while I waited for Katherine and time stood still. Eventually I convinced myself that no sip of that wine could ever taste as good as I dreamt it would. And that is the story of why I drink bourbon. I don't know who I am without you, but I know that as long as I'm with you, time will stand still. So who is Damon Salvatore without Elena Gilbert? A selfish friend, a jealous brother, a horrible son? Or maybe with a little luck, I'll do right by you. Because you may be a thousand miles away or a hundred years away, but you're still here with me and my heart is right there in that coffin with you. Until you come back to me.

These people didn't deserve to be killed by one of your free range children. Stefan's up to his hero hair in Heretic drama and I'm worried that Matt Donovan's funeral is going to cut into my social schedule.

Now I get it. Your favorite sons are the ones with the ripper problems. I highly recommend a detox and an intervention.

Donovan, that badge does not take away the fact that you are human. Please don't commit suicide by Heretic tonight.

Bonnie, you are officially the most terrifying person I know.

Stefan: Three. That's the number of people Caroline and I have saved. Barely.
Damon: So, did you call just to brag, or...?

Vampire Diaries Quotes

Oooh, you know I don't know. Every time we try and go on a date you get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away...

Damon

Damon: My new girlfriend. Andie Starr. Action News.
Alaric: It's not called Action News.
Damon: I know. I like just saying it.