Dr. Park: Why am I watching you cut your hair?
House: New life, new look.

[after his ankle monitor went off] I thought the bracelet was decorative. My aunt had one just like it. Wait a minute...

Prison! Sorry, I thought I heard everyone thinking it.

I specifically requested my wake-up-startle 3 hours from now.

I'm trying to listen to your lungs, not your self-pity.

Belief implies a level of giving a crap I am never going to achieve.

Me and humanity--we got together too young.

You think one of Santa's reindeer was called 'Stomper'?

That look of shock is elitist and offensive. Doctors can be degenerates too. This is America.

House [to Dr. Adams]

Mendelson [regarding House's special attention to his cellmate]: Why you keep helping him out?
House: Yeah, why would I want to make sure that my homicidal cellmate is taking the right anti-psychotics?

You wanna know how I feel? I feel hurt.

Cuddy: I haven't dated anyone since you.
House: You know what they say, once you go gimp...

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.


Dr. Cameron: I just don't see why you have to deny it.
Dr. Chase: I'm not.
Dr. Cameron: Now you're denying you're denying.
Dr. Chase: No, I'm denying that there's anything to deny.