Dr. Cuddy: I assume you're avoiding me because of the charity gala.
House: This Friday? It completely slipped my mind.
Dr. Cuddy: So you'll be there?
House: No, I meant it slipped my mind to tell you I'm not going.

I want you to care about more than just what you want. What you think. You need me, House. And you may even love me. But you don't care about me. And I deserve someone who does.

You are my problem. You are the most selfish, self-centered son of a bitch on the face of the planet! And I'm sick of it! I'm just... done. I can't deal with you anymore.

House... I need you to come to that dinner for two hours. Keep your mouth shut, and behave like an adult. Yes, you will be in Hell, but I will feel better having you there. That is what a relationship is. We average our misery.

Dr. Cuddy

House: How mad would you be if I fired Masters?
Dr. Cuddy: Very. Unless you had cause. Real cause. Cause that a human being would consider cause.
House: Never mind, then.

House: Just because my sausage has been filling your bun doesn't mean you get to decide what flavor chips I nosh on during the day.
Dr. Cuddy: Nope, I get to do that because I'm your boss.

Dr. Cuddy: What is that smell? Is it onions? Peppers? Oh, I know... it's a sausagefest.
House: Sausagefest implies multiples. Now, if you're talking about yardage, I'd have to agree.

Dr. Cuddy: Let's stay at my place tonight, okay?
House: Will you get cable?
Dr. Cuddy: No.
House: Then we'll have to have more sex.
Dr. Cuddy: Okay.

Dr. Cuddy: But you used to have sex with her.
House: Well, it was a massage plus happy ending sort of thing. Now it's more of a sad ending. (brightly) Because of you!

Dr. Cuddy: I'm not gonna dump you because we like different food or books or music. On the other hand, I might dump you if you don't talk to me when you have a problem with our relationship.
House: I know you believe that now, but the fact is...
Dr. Cuddy: Who cares about common? Common is boring. I like being with you. Yo make me better. Hopefully, I make you better. What we have is... uncommon.and I've never been happier.

Dr. Cuddy: What is her problem?
House: She hates Jews!
Dr. Cuddy: Never... again.

Dr. Cuddy: You used a $3 million piece of hospital equipment so you could read a novel?
House: Cool, right?
Dr. Cuddy: Well, as your girlfriend, I'm impressed. As your boss, you're a jackass. Don't do it again.
House: As your boyfriend, I thank you. As your employee, I resent you because I need this for my case.
Dr. Cuddy: As your boss, you just got six more clinic hours next week.

House Quotes

[To Foreman} That'd be redundant. I've got an angry black guy waiting for me to drop the soap right here.

House

(To Cuddy) If it turns out she has Meningitis, you're right, you win. But if we go back downstairs and she dies, pfft... your face will be so red!

House