Dwight Schrute Quotes
[after arriving at a dump] This place has gone to hell.
Kevin: (about the leads) They're in the trash! They're in the trash!
Dwight: Trash. Code... Alright, Meredith! Take off your dress.
Meredith: Okie-dokie.
Kevin: No, dear God no! It's in the trash can, in the kitchen.
Meredith: Coming off either way!
Dwight: Michael you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in!
Michael: Well Bigshot, if you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes.
Dwight: [pauses] Kevin!
I hitched my wagon to a horse with no legs.
Well, the acorn becomes the oak.
Salesman is king. As the best salesman I am king of kings. Oh, you say Jesus is king of kings? Well, what does that say to you about how I think of myself.
Okay - Dwight out!
You couldn't handle my undivided attention.
Dwight: What the hell is this? This is not Megadesk.
Jim: Oh! No, it's not. They call it Quad-desk.
Dwight: That's ridiculous, this is made up of three desks.
Jim: Oh my God. We're gonna have to rename it then aren't we.
Dwight: I'll tell you what happened to me. I didn't see my father for the first two years of my life. I thought my mother was my father, and my wet nurse was my mother.
Jim: Well that's a common mistake.
Dwight: Turned out fine for me. But Mose. Same story... Different. Ending.
Dwight: Ah, that baby is just discovering the whole wide world right now.
Jim: It's pretty amazing.
Dwight: What up is, what down is, who mom is. Who dad is. It must be tough being here with all that going on.
Jim: Oh it's tough being here for a lot of reasons.
Dwight: I mean, you're here at work, the baby thinks that the refrigerator is its father.
Jim: Is that what happened to you?
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass have been away on maternity leave. But now Tweedle Dumbass is back and we have a problem. Yes, getting hooked on Megadesk was my own damn fault. But [sighs] I don't care about assigning blame. All I care about, is Megadesk. That is all I care about. Getting. More. Megadesk.
