Ellie: So Jules, what are we doing?
Jules: Besides cake and wine, I got nothing.

Please, you don't know what it's like to be married to a super sensitive guy. I call them senszies.

Jules, he's an evil genius. He's Keyser Soze.

(to Laurie) You look like you put your make-up in the floor and roll around in it.

Jules: What are you doing to me?
Ellie: I'm winding you up like a toy robot and letting you go.

Ellie: Sweetie, you need big Joe?
Jules: He'll never leave.

Trav: What's going on?
Ellie: You're Uncle Joe is dead, but you're allowed to start drinking.
Trav: Sounds like a plan.

Jules: What did he just say?
Laurie: Got me!
Ellie: Razzle dazzle.

Thanksgiving is not a sexy holiday.

Ellie: I want red.
Jules: No no white wine has less alcohol.
Grayson: Ohhh...thinking wine.

Bye Grayson. Pageant wave.

Jules: I would like some of that fancy wine.
Ellie: Do it Wayne.
Jules: Oh no! I brought my own glass. It's big Carl. Fill em up.

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.