Eric Cartman Quotes

So God makes it rain frogs? That just seems kind of mean to frogs, Kyle!

Mr. Billings: Our entire business is based on fun and safety!
Cartman: This isn't safe or fun!

Those cryptozoologists don't know what they're talking about. They just gave me a case of the Hebrew-jeebies, that's all

What you're looking at there is a Jewpacabra. It's like a sasquatch, only more elusive, more ferocious, and a little more greedy.

You can't scare a Jewpacabra! Don't forget Butters, we're dealing with a creature that drinks blood, hides in the night, and has no belief in the divinity of Christ.

Saying something is so 2000 and anything is so 2009, you asswipe!

We got crappy jewelry, now all we need are some old people.

You may suck our collective balls, sir.

Toilet time is the last bastion of American freedom.

I'll tell you why you're protesting, because you all think it's wrong to be pissed at a black president...

Here we were having a perfectly nice conversation about Kenny being poor and Kyle being a Jew you decided to go 9/11 and bust out the fat quip.

Nurse: Why are there hamburgers in your underwear?
Cartman: Are you serious? You're saying I have Aspergers?

South Park Quotes

(Pulls out an automatic) Hello girls! I'm the easter bunny!

Janet Reno

Chinpokomon Executive: You are American.
South Park Toy Store Owner: Yes.
Chinpokomon Executive: Ohhh, you must have very big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Excuse me, I was just asking you what your up to with these toys.
Chinpokomon Executive: Nothing, we are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small!
Mr. Hosik: So small.
Chinpokomon Executive: We cannot achieve so much with such small penis, but you American wow, penis so big, so big penis!
South Park Toy Store Owner: Well aah I guess it is pretty good size.

South Park

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