Stan: Now, do you believe us, Cartman?
Cartman: You guys can't scare me! I know you're making it all up.
Stan: Cartman, there's an 80-foot satellite dish sticking out of your ass!
Cartman: Sure, you guys, whatever.

Stan: Whoa, Cartman! You look like you didn't get enough sleep.
Cartman: I know. That's because I was having these bogus nightmares.
Kyle: Really? What about?
Cartman: Well, I dreamed that I was lying in my bed in the dark. When all of a sudden, this bright blue light fills the room. Then slowly, my bedroom door begins to open. And the next thing I remember, I was being dragged through a hallway. Then I was lying on a table and these scary hands wanted to operate on me. And they had big heads and big black eyes...
Stan: Dude! Visitors!
Kyle: Totally!

Stan: What's gonna be for lunch today Chef?
Chef: Well, today it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles, and a choice of green bean casserole, or vegetable medley.
Cartman: Kickass.

South Park Quotes

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

</i> Cartman

Cartman: Suck my balls.
Ms. Choksondik: Present them.
Cartman: What?
Ms. Choksondik: Present: Whip them out and I'll suck 'em.