Eric van der Woodsen Quotes
Dan: You swear not to tell anyone? Or laugh?
Eric: Ah, I'll take your secret to my grave, but laughter is an uncontrollable bodily response.
Dan: I kissed Blair Waldorf.
Eric: Wow I didn't see that coming.
Eric: Thank you for letting me hide out here. I just needed a time out from my mom and my grandma and my dad and... your dad.
Dan: Oh yeah. I mean, of course. My house is your safe house.
Eric: I'm surprised Serena didn't call you and ask you to be her back-up.
Dan: She did. But I figured I'd dodge that war. Hey, does William Carlos Williams go under W or C?
Eric: Hm. This is the first time I've ever seen you pass up a chance to save Serena. And you're alphabetizing. What's up?
Serena: Did anyone else see Vanessa or am I having ether flashbacks?
Eric: It's probably the latter. Although I did notice Blair wearing two different shoes.
Lily: I'm relieved you're not going to overdose. But you should have come to me with this.
Eric: I just, I didn't want to worry you. I wanted to fix my mistake.
Lily: The only mistake was mine. When I forged Serena's signature.
Serena: Wow. That's the first time you've admitted it was wrong.
Lily: Well it seemed right at the time, but I know it wasn't. And as much as I appreciate you both trying to protect me, I can't allow anyone else to pay for what I did.
Lily: What are you doing? Do you realize how gauche it is to open gifts at a party? Before dessert!
Eric: I was just so excited to have an addition to my stock portfolio.
Serena: These are purple.
Eric: Ugh. And... planty.
Eric: I know that they were just trying to help, but Dan and Nate actually made things worse when they went to see Damien's father.
Ben: How exactly?
Eric: Damien's got his big coke shipment coming in today from Europe. It's arriving at the flower market in the fertilizer packs of a hundred pink tulips. And since his dad has people watching his every move, he's making me be his drug mule.
Serena: What? Why would you do that? What does he have on you?
Eric: On me, nothing. But he knows that mom forged the affidavit about Ben.
Eric: I wished for chills on my birthday but not thanks to the flu. Well, looks like I'll be ushering in adulthood with warm tea and flat ginger ale.
Lily: We'll have to celebrate another time. Ugh, I need to get to this meeting. Get some rest, okay? And I'll call everyone when I get home and cancel the party.
I got more hugs tonight from strangers than my grandma doled out in her entire life.
Eric: Who do you want to spend Valentine's Day with?
Dan: Blair. No, it's not... no no no, It's not like that. I need her help with something.
Eric: You could be waiting a long time.
Eric: I have a hot date with a vehicle filled with hot meals. I would feel sorry for myself except I am delivering food to people too sick to cook.
Dan: Hey, at least it would be original.
Eric: Jonathan was never one for clichés.
Eric: Hey, thanks for meeting me.
Dan: I'm surprised my dad and Lily let you out of the house, even for food.
Eric: Oh, well it might have something to do with my volunteering. Or voluntary drug testing. Look, the schnitzel's on me. I'm sorry about lying last week.
Dan: Oh, thanks. Have you heard from Damien?
Eric: Oh, no, actually. Knowing the ambassador, after you told him he was dealing I'm sure he had him exiled to some very cold, very distant country.
