Maybe you were right, Henry. Maybe I don't know her. Maybe I don't know her at all.

So two birds, one Today-show-sized bird.

Hank: You're not turning this into McMedicine.
Evan: What about Medbucks?

Paige, Will you marry me?

Evan: You knew people still do that? Why didn't you tell me.
Hank: I assumed we lived in the same society...

It has to be my Mona Lisa, my Sgt. Pepper's....

You're gonna miss getting to know your grandsons, which sucks, because we're pretty amazing.

I'm going to propose to Paige

Evan: You're talking to Evan R. Lawson right now. Discretion is my middle name.
Hank: So that's what the R. stands for.

You're the only one not secure in this relationship and you're not even in the relationship

By the way could you tell Jill to leave the toilet seat up when she's done? A little respect would be awesome.

You really think tossing in Yoplait is going to quell Mt. Vesuvius?