Evan Lawson Quotes
(to Divya) I do billing. You do 'medicine-y' stuff.
Hank: Oh, okay, so you're gonna take credit for everything that happens in my life post-Brooklyn?
Evan: Man, a butterfly flaps its wings.
(Katie earlier referred to Hank as "M.S.G.")
Hank: What's an M.S.G.?
Evan: Medical super god.
Hank: Oh, alright.
Evan: Miniature sex gimp. Mumbling snow gerbil.
(Much later, Evan's still guessing what it means.)
Evan: Macho surfing guru, right? No? Mucus spewing growth.
(Still, much later...)
Evan: Medieval slut gatherer. Man seeking guacamole. Manatee...
Evan: Hi, there. You looking for somebody? Maybe somebody who knows how to surf without perling?
Katie: You got me. I like to base my relationships on surfing technique.
Call me Ishmael! Call me the Rainmaker! Call me...the proudest brother on Earth.
Call me Supermanny.
My brother needed me for once. And, needless to say, I came through -- like Superman. Not like Superman. He's too much of a boy scout. More like Batman 'cause he's dark and mysterious and good with the ladies.
Hank: She [Jill] offered me a job. In her E.R.
Evan: As in, like, a bail-on-HankMed-and-leave-your-CFO-high-and-dry kind of job?
Hank: Well, that's not how she put it, but yeah, it could have that effect.
Evan: I've dropped phones in pools and toilets... the occasional mojito.
Rob: Hot tubs, koi ponds, and a volcano.
Will: You're a good nanny, Steven.
Evan: I'm a manny, and it's Kevin. (realizes mistake) Evan.
Sam: Aunt Claire, we're memorizing our audition song.
Maddie: Yeah, we're gonna win the American Idols.
Evan: Oh no, it's American Idol, kids.
Sam & Maddie: Not for us!
Rob: So you are our last-minute compromise.
Hank: I've been called worse.
Evan: At HankMed, we aim to compromise, so that's great.
Rob: That's the worst business mantra I've ever heard.
