None of the writers can go out on St. Patrick's Day because we all have faces people naturally want to punch.

Frank: Where were you when we did this four years ago?
Liz: Certainly not at a Michael's Crafts crafting cruise.

Frank: Lutz just hit on Liz.
Tracy: Bout time. The last six years has been like watching Moonlighting.

You're married. I actually have a girlfriend. All our dirt bag knowledge is gonna go to waste.

I've gotten women there, two, three points higher than me, so you know, fours!

How's this for grown up? Last night for dinner, I put milk in my Apple Jacks.

Pete: Take out from Hooters!
Frank: That makes no sense.
Pete: We'll know they touched it!

Skelator's not my are.

Lynn: You live with your mother?
Frank: Yeah, otherwise who would wake me up for work?

Toofer can get us through Black, gay, and nerd controlled neighborhoods.

You know, if you wanted to cheat on Carol with an Italian dude who smells like cigarettes, I've made it very clear I'd flip over my futon for you. Not cool!

So much of my life was wasted creating hats!