Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCGloria Delgado-Pritchett Quotes
We can't get Luke a crossbow, he pokes himself in the eye every time he uses a straw.
Gloria [about Haley]: When I was her age I loved my grandfather, but I still wanted to be with boys.
Jay: I know, so did Claire.. and Mitchell.
Gloria: So take back your sword and go fight this sword like a bull!
Manny: Okay.
Gloria: I can't hear you.
Manny: Okay!
Jay: I can't hear you!
Manny: That's really as loud as I can go.
Jay: When I first heard Manny wanted to fence I was like sure, uncoordinated kid, lethal weapon, how could this go wrong?
Gloria: What do you think now?
Jay: I'm proud of our little Zorro
Gloria [about Manny]: It's in his blood. His father was a master swordsman. He was an artist with his sword! I mean, the way he throws the sword, I mean, he was legendary
Jay: You know it's a nice moment I'm having with your son, you're kind of wrecking it
Gloria: Children need to know that you believe in them; it's the most important thing. If you tell them they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
Jay: Oh really? I had a buddy that went to Woodstock, believed he could fly, didn't end great. That's why hotels' windows don't open anymore
The poncho by itself is fine. The poncho plus the flute plus the stupid dance? My son will die a virgin
Gloria: Hay is very spontaneous. He's always surprising me with little presents, fun getaways
Jay: I wasn't the greatest husband the first time around. I'm trying to do better this time around. And maybe by my third marriage I'll have it down pat. Yeah, that one's gonna cost me
Manny: How's my hair?
Jay: Hold on, what are you wearing there? That looks like an old Christmas tree skirt
Manny: It's a traditional Colombian pioncho, I want my new classmates to know I'm proud of my heritage
Gloria: I think you look very handsome, lindo!
Jay: Oh really? Am I driving him to school or is he gonna ride his burro?
Gloria: Who's side are you on?
Jay: She's my daughter, you're my wife. Let's remember what's important, there's a football game on today
Phil: It's nice to see you Gloria. [Hugs Gloria]
Gloria: Two times today.
Phil: Okay. [Goes in for another hug]
Claire: Uh, Phil, she means we've seen them two times today
Gloria: Jay, I'm home. Did Manny call?
Jay: No, because he's fine. It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.
