Attention, everyone! Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee! Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

(While hugging)
Gob: If you feel something moving down there, it's just the bird.
Michael: I know.
(Michael sees the bird still on the counter)

It's okay, son. We'll figure it out. When we do, we'll have the last laugh. We'll be the laughing stock of the boardwalk.

I've got this Christian girlfriend now, and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son, and I'm trying to get her to renounce god and **** me and I just want to ... prove to her that I'm worth it.

You don't want a hungry dove down your pants. That's how Tony Wonder lost a nut.

It's a jet-pack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?

Gob: Sounds like a tennis match between Steffi Graf and Happy Days star Donny Host.
Narrator: That's 'Most'!

Michael: Mom wants to sleep with the warden.
Gob: What? Oh, God!
Lindsay: Great.
Michael: Great? The man is old enough to be her contemporary, Lindsay.

(talking about the camera) Oh, no! It was on stand by! Think you could do that again?

</i> Gob

(abouting breaking into the prison) It can't be that hard to get into. It's not a Jamba Juice.

Rita: Is that a magic trick? I love magic.
Gob: I don't appreciate the dry British humor.

(performing a card trick) He takes his queen and showers her with diamonds! (pulls a club from the deck) Clubs. Club sauce! He showers her with club sauce. All right, that'll be my line if that happens.

Arrested Development Quotes

Um, I forget their name, but I know they're hungry. I think some are thirsty.

Lindsay

(talking about the money their fund-raiser brought in) Well, most of that money was from the Bluth Company. I mean, how ...
(Michael looks surprised) ... are you?

Tobias