It's okay, son. We'll figure it out. When we do, we'll have the last laugh. We'll be the laughing stock of the boardwalk.

I've got this Christian girlfriend now, and she's trying to get me to be a better man and reconnect with my son, and I'm trying to get her to renounce god and **** me and I just want to ... prove to her that I'm worth it.

Attention, everyone! Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee! Don't worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.

(While hugging)
Gob: If you feel something moving down there, it's just the bird.
Michael: I know.
(Michael sees the bird still on the counter)

Michael: You just thought you'd put the stand right here?
Gob: Did the research. Did you know that more frozen bananas are sold here on this boardwalk than anywhere in The O.C.?
Michael: Don't call it that.

It's a jet-pack, Michael. What could possibly go wrong?

Michael: Mom wants to sleep with the warden.
Gob: What? Oh, God!
Lindsay: Great.
Michael: Great? The man is old enough to be her contemporary, Lindsay.

(talking about the camera) Oh, no! It was on stand by! Think you could do that again?

</i> Gob

(abouting breaking into the prison) It can't be that hard to get into. It's not a Jamba Juice.

Gob: Sounds like a tennis match between Steffi Graf and Happy Days star Donny Host.
Narrator: That's 'Most'!

(After Rita has walked on the water)
Michael: Hang on a sec. That's part of your trick, right?
Gob: No, that's not my trick, Michael.
Narrator: On the next Arrested Development ...
Gob: It's my illusion.

(performing a card trick) He takes his queen and showers her with diamonds! (pulls a club from the deck) Clubs. Club sauce! He showers her with club sauce. All right, that'll be my line if that happens.

Arrested Development Quotes

Okay, we are just about ass-to-ankles back here, Maeby. Do you want to hop on your cousin's lap there, please?

Tobias

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.