Gob: Dad's gonna be crushed!
George Michael: You don't have to tell him!

Gob: Well, gee, I didn't think the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date!
Gob: Don't call my escorts whores.
Buster: Mom still got it!
Gob: I don't date whores!
Lindsay: Stop it! Stop it! This objectification of women has to stop!
Michael: It's just mom and whores.

Lindsay: This pig, Phillip Litt is out there asking girls to take their tops off...it's an outrage.
Gob: Ha, well of course you feel that way, you're jealous; you're a surfboard...but I do agree he is a pig...

Gob: Nice to meet you. (walks away)
Mrs. Veal: Your family is lovely!
Michael: Does it seem that way? Where's Buster?

Gob: Somebody just wanted to say ... (holds up Franklin) how much they missed you.
Lucille: Oh, who let that black (bleep) in? (Gob knocks her unconcious)
Buster: Hey, brother!
Franklin (Gob): Who you callin' "brother," you hook-ass --
Buster: Mother ...!
(Buster blows the rape horn and Gob knocks him out)
Geroge Sr.: What the hell kind of puppet is that on Buster's hand?

Gob: Franklin said some things Whitey just wasn't ready to hear.
Michael: Gob, weren't you also mercilessly beaten outside of a club in Torrance for that act?
Gob: He also said some things that African-Americany wasn't ready to hear, either.

Franklin (Gob): I don't wanna kiss that old bitch!
George Sr.: That's my wife, you bastard! (chokes puppet)
Gob: Ow, Dad, that's my wrist ...
(George Sr. chokes Gob)
Franklin (Gob): Hey, man, that's his neck!

Gob: So what, you're gonna cover her eyes, take her out to the limo...?
George Sr.: No, we're going to knock her out with this ether, stuff her in this garment bag and carry her out to the car, if anyone see's you do the same. Oh, hi Tobias.
Mrs. Featherbottom: (singing) Whenever I get a wee bit scared I hum a little tune, humdidididi...doo.

George Michael: Gangy's having an anniversary party?
Michael: Seems that way.
George Michael: Hey, is Franklin gonna be there?
Gob: See that, Mike? Kids love Franklin.
George Michael: I just don't want him to point out my cracker ass in front of Ann.

Gob: Yeah, I need a tea to give my dingle less tingle. Me quick want slow. Wait, that's Indian.
Salesman: Tea for dong!

Gob: My middle finger and index finger are --
Dr. Stein: Switched! For the first time ever.

Michael: ...But I can't. I have to teach George Michael how to drive.
Gob: Michael if I make this comeback I'll buy you one hundred George Michael's you can teach to drive.
Michael: You're losing blood aren't you?
Gob: Probably. My socks are wet.
Michael: I'm sorry.
Gob: You'll be sorry! Wait that doesn't work after his line.

Arrested Development Quotes

Um, I forget their name, but I know they're hungry. I think some are thirsty.

Lindsay

(talking about the money their fund-raiser brought in) Well, most of that money was from the Bluth Company. I mean, how ...
(Michael looks surprised) ... are you?

Tobias