Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSFavorite Grayson Ellis Quotes
Grayson: Oprah says talking on your cell while driving is crazy dangerous.
Travis: Does Oprah say anything about how lame it is for a grown ass man to watch Oprah?
Grayson: Nope, she loves us.
Ellie: Are those all our houses?
Grayson: And that's us there, burning alive. You don't even have a head. No, wait, there it is.
Ellie: Why is my severed head still screaming?
Trav: Dude why?
Grayson: Don't call me boy toy.
Laurie: I wish you could make it simpler.
Grayson: Donkey likes hybrids, health care and homosexuals and elephant likes God.
Laurie: I saw an elephant pray in the circus once.
Grayson: Wow, that's relevant.
Laurie: So both of our votes count the same, right?
Grayson: Yeah, it's a great system.
Laurie: I think it works.
Ellie: You should be spraying it from the other side to push it all towards the curb.
Grayson: Are you really telling me how to hose?
Bobby: Come on man, it's time to start living like you have a mustache.
Grayson: Now that's gibberish.
Andy: No, it's not. It means I have to ask myself the ultimate question, what would Burt Reynolds do?
Jules: You work that hoes b**ch.
Grayson: You're weird Jules.
Jules: Weird like a fox.
It feels like you are putting out a real relationshipy vibe.
Two for two!
Grayson: I wish I had a time machine to undo... you.
Laurie: I would also use it to go back and tell my aunt not to give my cousin up for adoption. We're pretty sure she's Dakota Fanning.
Grayson: Yeah, she's not adopted.
Grayson: So you're having the whole gang over turkey day, huh?
Jules: Well
Grayson: I don't really have any plans since my wife left and all our friends were pretty much her friends. And both my parents are dead....
Ellie: Did they die in the last six months?
Jules: No.
Ellie: Then who cares? Hand me my drink.
Grayson: And our friendship means a lot to me. I don't want to mess that up.
Jules: I don't either. Maybe this should just be a one time deal?
Grayson: Or we could be friends with benefits.
Jules: Oh you snuck that one in at the end didn't ya? Friends with benefits - the old FWB. That is the greatest male myth of our time. That and our knees being erogenous zones.
Grayson: It is.
Jules: It's not. It's a knee. Do you want to know why FWB never works?
Grayson: No
Jules: We're friends - it can't be casual. Friend sex comes with feelings and baggage and someone always gets hurt. It's a horrible idea.
