Venture Brothers
Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon NetworkHank Venture Quotes
Hank: What's with the suit?
Dean: Is it illegal to look good?
Hank: In this house is kind of is.
Let me show you what a Batman-filled, Brocked-trained Venture can do
Sgt. Hatred: Hank, you know about the birds and the bees, right?
Hank: For like two years now!
Sgt. Hatred: Well, you know how some bees like other bees and some birds like other birds?
Hank: Like Uncle Gentleman?
Sgt. Hatred: Right. Now there are some birds that like eggs, and eggs are fragile and can't defend themselves. So some egg lovers take experimental drugs to not like eggs. Because I don't want to like eggs.
Hank: I already know that you used to be a pedestrian.
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah, I also like bees! I've had my share of honey.
Henchman 21: You have been subjected to the dreaded Chinese Water Torture for easily half an hour. You have lost your grip on reality.
Dean: We're delirious? So, this is a dream, and we're not really..
Henchman 21: Oh, no, you're actually here. But if I'm half monster, and like half goat and half hor... okay, that's stupid. Okay, if my bottom half is a horse, and on top I'm Sin-Eater.
Dean: Who's Sin-Eater?
Henchman 21: Or Wolverine with bat wings.
Hank: Dude, you're that henchman guy.
Henchman 21: With bat wings?
Hank: No, that is mental! You're regular.
Dean: All right, fine. But in the future, could you warn us before you do that?
Sgt. Hatred: In the future, the lazy Eloi will be living above ground. But underground, there will be cave monsters that use the above ground people for food. Dean, they eat them.
Dean: Now I know what happened to my copy of The Time Machine.
Hank: See, I didn't take it! I expect an apology. And also, I want a dollar. Emotional damage.
Hank [about his dad's car]: I don't think I should take it off the compound
Dermott: You didn't think I should have hot wired it either
Hank: That's because I had the keys
Hank: How come Baby Einstein gets his own lab and I'm stuck pushing boxes around? When do I get to train for my future career?
Dr. Venture: Who says you aen't right now?
Dermott: All right, we're going to have to do this commando style.
Hank: You want me to... take off my underwear?
Dermott: Why do you think they used to call me "the Wolf?"
Hank: Nobody calls you that.
Dermott: Well, they did back in my old neighborhood. When they weren't calling me "psycho." There was actually a war between two gangs over which nickname to call me. Both gangs won
Hank: Maternity. You weren't kidding, Deano. Pop really is having a baby!
Dean: I think I need a cigarette
Hank: I'm outta here! I'm not gonna play second... banana-fiddle to some stupid old baby.
Dean: Well not me! I'm staying right here. I'll be sleeping in a room right next to Triana. And then she'll hear like, thunder or something, and, and she'll run into my room all scared and stuff, and I'll be like, 'hush my darling, it's just ionized air molecules expanding'. And she'll be like, 'oh, hold me', and I'll like...
Hank: Dude! If we stay here that means we'll be Dr. Orpheus' kids. And that means Triana will be your sister. And that means you two will have extra-retard babies.
Dean: Huh. I never thought of that. [he stands up] Alright, I'm with you!
Hank: I can't believe we have a new baby uncle. Every Christmas he's probably gonna give us a Jovan Musk gift pack. And we'll have to pretend he's not all creepy looking. Aww, I bet we're gonna have to kiss him!
Dean: Right? Dude, did you shake his hand? It was like shaking hands with a chicken dinner
