The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
That's ridiculous. How could two people from the same family need therapy?
I can't quit drinking anymore than I can quit being a man. [takes a drink] Now it feels like a morning.
Dr. Zander: After two more weeks of sessions...
Homer: I lied about having health insurance.
Dr. Zander: You're cured.
Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck.
Strangling, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's my sharpest.
Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.
Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem to begin with!
I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.
Homer: Can we at least get some french fries?
Cheech: Too high in trans fats.
Homer: Awwwwww, stop speaking Spanish.
Marge: Remember, on the road the only vice you can indulge in is gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer: Honey, don't worry, I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.
I can't do reefer comedy, I'm drunk! Two different animals.
Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?
