Marge: (About the Merry Go Round) Can I go again?
Homer: All night, baby.
(Bart and Lisa groan.)

Old Man: I say let him fish it off. These waters are so barren, by the time he pays off the debt; he'll be as old and as queer as I am.
Homer: Queer-strange or queer-gay?
Old Man: A touch of both. (Laughs crazily, then makes kisses in the air to Homer)

Marge: Oh God! Someone carved swastikas on your eyes.
Homer: Oh Marge, I'm sure it was just some guy filled with hate.

(Gil is eating chocolates from a heart-shaped box)
Gil: Hey Homer, it's Valentine's Day, what are you getting the misses?
Homer: (angrily) A heart-shaped box of chocolates!

Homer: Give back that Holiday cheer, you bastard!
The Grumple: Never!

Marge, admit it. You just can't say no to anyone. That's why you have three kids.

Homer: Why did you let that loser into our home?
Marge: I'll tell you why--Christian charity.
Homer: Christian Charity? What does a porn star have to do with this?

Homer: Time to do what I do best: Lie to a child.

No man should have to out live his fictional wizard! (sobs)

(Tucking Lisa into bed) Okay. Tucked in tight, glass of water, night light on, no barn owls, don't do drugs, love you, good night!

Homer: They killed Graystache!
Guy: Thanks for the spoiler, big mouth!
(Throws book at Homer)

Go love making!

Marge & Homer

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

</i> Abe