The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXHomer Simpson Quotes
Homer: You kids like ice cream? (Pushes disclaimer button)
Disclaimer: Product contains neither ice nor cream. May contain trace elements of Mexican cheese. Do not consume.
Honey, I brought you more sticks. (Homer drops a sack of popsicle-sticks on the bedroom floor). This is the most fun I've ever had giving you wood.
Wow, you made a sculpture of Magilla Gorilla!
</i> Homer
MARGE! Where are you? Did you change your name? Is it Kelly? KELLY!
Well excuse me for having enormous flaws that I don't work on!
</i> Homer
(Homer reassures Marge that he will make it home in time for her art show.)
Homer: I would never let you down. Our marriage is like soft-serve ice cream. And trust is the hard chocolate shell that keeps it from melting onto our carpet. In "cone-clusion," here's the scoop: I love you.
Is it our anniversary? No, we don't have one this year.
Marge: Homer, don't drink and drive!
Homer: Fine, I'll drive between sips.
Lisa: Go ahead, I don't think I'd be very good company.
Homer: Thanks for the heads up, we'll see you when we see you!
Lisa: Moe marginalized my contributions!
(Homer and Bart gasp. Lisa runs away sobbing.)
Homer: No one makes my daughter sob and run!
Bart: He ruined her first Wordloaf!
Homer: This vibrating massage chair feels great.
Moe: That ain't a massage chair, it's just full of cockroaches.
Marge (reading Moe's note): "Dear pus bag . . ."
Homer: Whoa, Marge, who'd you piss off?
Moe: It's for you, pus bag!
